Procrastination Station

IB Pickup Line of the Day:

If you were an amino acid, you’d take my O away and we could covalently bond.

I am remarkably doing well thus far despite my obvious procrastination. However random my forays into procrastination seem, though, I’m actually pretty selective as to which subjects to procrastinate for and which ones not to. Never procrastinate on IB History work; never procrastinate on Extended Essay work; don’t procrastinate on IB Papers…which, I now realise, are considered long-term projects that would make me a full-time procrastinator if I was not so much a procrastinator on daily homework already (which would make me…part time procrastinator?).

My point is, if you’re going to do any procrastination at all, then at least be smart about it. Obviously, you wouldn’t want to procrastinate on those big papers (even though I know, primarily from past experience, that a lot of IB students will do so anyway). If you have a lot of projects, the due dates of which are spaced randomly in time, then make a calendar with the due dates of said projects and make sure to check it at least once a week to see what you have to do. Also, schedule your projects (especially the Extended Essay..and those CAS hours). Unless, of course, you’re the type who is strangely addicted to extreme sleep-deprivation and extreme jumps in the amount of adrenaline going through your body, then go ahead! (If you are that type of a person, then I would recommend you consider a career in a high-risk medical specialty.)

IB, at least in my three *a number greater than 3 here* years in it (including Pre-IB), is a lesson in time management. Learn to manage your time wisely (I’m sure you’ve heard that many times before from some of your teachers and IB Coordinators), or you’ll die. Or you’ll burn out. Very badly. Take it from me, IB Student, who was burnt out for several months because IB Student was not very good in managing time and was thus a poster child for IB Burnout Syndrome (IBBS). You do not want to suffer from IBBS (interpret that abbreviation as you will), as it is a very serious condition affecting at least 75% of the IB population.

Symptoms of IB Burnout Syndrome (Courtesy of the DSM-IV: IB Edition)

• Persistent use of sarcastic, pessimistic comments about the state of the world/IB
• Procrastination is so extreme that grades are at the very low end of the spectrum
• Lack of foresight as to what extreme procrastinating will entail
• Displaying a noticeable lack of motivation
• Continuous hopelessness
• Constant fatigue no matter the amount of sleep patient has had (not to be mistaken as sleep deprivation-induced fatigue found commonly in students not suffering from IB Burnout Syndrome)
• Symptoms above last for a duration of 2 weeks or longer

Co-morbidity with uni-polar depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and generalised anxiety disorder is possible.

More illnesses, mental and physical alike, can be found in IB student populations. I will attempt to go over the epidemiology of such diseases at a later date, after I conduct more research into the matter.

On a final note, trust me on this. You do not want to burn out so much that all of your efforts seem futile. You do not want to be so overwhelmed with the amount of work that you just want to give up. It’s not a nice feeling at all. There are ways to prevent this; I’ve outlined one way, which is to procrastinate wisely (for lack of a better term). Another way is to make friends with as many people who are not in IB. They really give you the perspective that yes, there is life outside of academics.

UPDATE: Wow I sounded remotely serious about this post. What a surprise.

Short-term Therapy for Stressed-Out IB-ers

Slap someone. A lot. Ignore that they’re talking about counterfeit minis. Instead, imagine your least favourite teacher droning on about *subject here*.

Pop bubbles. Why? It’s bubble wrap. Way more fun than homework.

Vent. Furiously so. Take out a piece of paper and release your anger and frustrations. Then breathe in and out, and throw the paper out. (I’d recommend shredding the paper first). Or you could start a blog and tell the world your angsty musings .

Wallow in self-pity. This is still better than finishing up your paper that’s due two hours from now, right? Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess…

Start a blog and complain about your life as an IB student. I think this is self-explanatory.

Take tests. Not IB Tests, silly! You do that enough in real life. Nor do I mean standardised tests…Just online ones that are actually kind of fun. Fun compared to your homework. Again.

Disclaimer: I do not condone to procrastinating for long periods of time. Especially with virtual bubble wrap. Or at least, that’s what I want you to think.

This shall be continued whenever I feel like I need therapy from the illness that is IB.

Theory of Knowledge

Ahh, finally. Some honest whining. But first, I give you this problem:

Assume that:

1. All IB students are procrastinators.
2. All procrastinators are IB students.
3. I am an IB Student.

What assumption can one make about IB Student based on the assumptions listed above? (Answer found in Guide to the Obvious, page 17). Disclaimer: Statements 1 and 2 are not necessarily true, but for the sake of this problem, assume that they are.

The First Battle

Now that the first week of school is over with, might as well whine about it like any self-respecting IB Student ought to do.

Observations

Teachers belonging to the English Department are very enthusiastic about poetry. Very. Do NOT, under any circumstances, challenge their love for poetry as they may very well kill you. Analysing poetry is how they live. Would you tell a lion to stop hunting zebras? Yes, if you wanted to be their dinner.

Contrary to popular opinion, history teachers are not actually that dull. They are, in fact, very fond of arguments, especially if the topic up for debate is on the short and long term effects of whatever war their classes are studying. As such, do not expect to win if you happen to be caught in an argument with these people.

Midday is not a time to eat. It is a time to study/do homework. Eat when you are supposed to be doing homework.

Theory of Knowledge class really makes you think about…thinking! The famous “I think, therefore I am” quote of Descartes is, in this class, replaced with “I think, therefore IB.” Grammatically incorrect? Make sure the Lit teachers never get ahold of this information…we all know what that would entail…

Sleep deprivation (SD) + IB = Increased need for caffeine (INC). INC (IB Student + Cafe) = Broke.*

Who knew graphing calculators were such a great source of entertainment and distraction? Ah no, I don’t have games on my TI-84 Plus Silver Edition. I was referring to the rapture I experience when I see graphs of sine, cosine, tan overlapping graphs of polar coordinates and rose curves.

According to IB, water is very, very, very important to organisms and is not as mundane a substance as one would think. Hail thy Hydrogen-bonding properties, H20! Hail thy high specific heat!

*State of poverty as a consequence of caffeine addiction. Applicable to the sleep-deprived with an affinity for overpriced coffee. [Example: IB Student's lack of sleep, combined with their constant visits to overpriced cafes with overpriced coffee, has resulted in their being broke.]

The Bag

If I could only take a photograph of what the contents of my bag are, you would be able to see the burden with which my back feels pain. As a substitute for a photograph, I would recommend that you imagine three hefty textbooks, six pathetically labelled notebooks, six binders to complement said notebooks, one graphing calculator (TI-84 Plus silver edition PWNS you), four pens of varying colours (blue, black, red, and green; yes I use all of them), a sad little assignment book that has already proven to be rather useless (the sections are minuscule for the amount of work I must do), a wand, a file cabinet, one pillow (to catch up on sleep whilst pretending to use one’s study hall time effectively), and a time turner.

It’s as if I carried my entire study in my bag!

Other Notes

I need a time turner as I seem to be one of the most over-scheduled individuals in the IB Programme. Which is, of course, saying a lot as IB Students have about as much free time as they have sleep.

(But how are you finding time to post here??)

Answer 1: I have an assistant and his name is Time Management.

Answer 2: I have an ever-reliable companion and his name is Procrastination.

I’ve leave you to decide what the true answer is.

The Types of IB Students post is coming as soon as I meet with my friend, Prof. Fancischmancipantz, the eminent anthropologist with a speciality in the IB Population. I promise!

The Telltale Signs that the School Year Has Begun

IB Student is currently trying to stay awake in what is known in the IB World as an extreme source of sleep-deprivation, a good way to cram loads of facts into one night, and also absolute torture/punishment for major procrastination. Why IB Student continues to do this to their mental and physical health is a question that, as of yet, has no sufficient answer.  Despite their intense efforts to stop the cruel and vicious cycle that is procrastination-all nighting-torture, IB Student still has not broken out of the horrors of procrastination. Let that be a lesson to you all. And to them.

The night, slowly emerging as morning, has been spent reading voraciously a book for school; it is mind-numbing, this experience. As such, it is imperative that IB Student distract themselves temporarily from the task at hand in order to retain their already diminishing sanity (and mind you, it is only one of the first few weeks of school). Why this happens so, IB Student cannot explain. It is punishment, perhaps, for those summer reading assignments they have procrastinated on (why does this paragraph seem redundant?).

They look at their calendar, not the least bit surprised that the first battery of inane practise examinations they are to endure have already begun. They look at their calendar, wondering where the weekend (associated with freedom), a figment of the imagination perhaps, has gone. They stare furtively at the calendar, aghast (yet somehow, not entirely shocked), that there are three major assignments to turn in this week; this first week of school alone!

IB Student sips another taste of the caffeine cup whilst slapping themselves with cold water. The reality of what lies ahead, the coldness (endothermic reaction? is that it? or is it really warmness, thereby exothermic a reaction? am I rambling? yes? no? what is the meaning of life?) that is their academic life, slaps them with the shock that the cold water gave them.

This can only be a sign. The year has begun, and the meaning of life outside of academics slowly dissipates (evaporation?).
Buggar. It’s only the first week and yet I’m already off my rockers, as you can see.